You’re the one who always has to be okay. You’re the one everybody comes to for advice. You’re the one who’s strong and stoic. You want to be vulnerable, but you don’t know how. Maybe you used to not care whether anyone else felt safe, because you never did; maybe you just became accustomed to taking care of yourself first. I’ve been that rock for a long time myself, which is why this is my topic today. So let me tell you about how I learned it was okay to let people in when they need support from me—and how I learned that sometimes it’s okay for me too!
You’re the one who always has to be okay.
You’re the one who always has to be okay. You are the rock in your friendships and relationships. You are there for everyone else, no matter what happens or what they need from you. And it’s not easy being that person—you have to be strong enough for everyone else, even if sometimes that means putting your own needs on hold for a while.
You’re the one everybody comes to for advice.
You’re the rock for everyone. You are the one who always has to be okay. You’re the one everybody comes to for advice, because they know you’ll have a strong opinion on everything from relationships to politics and religion. They trust you; they know you won’t judge them, because in your own way, you’re just as vulnerable as they are (even if it doesn’t look like that).
You want so badly to be vulnerable with others—but something’s holding you back. Maybe it’s fear of rejection or judgment by those close friends and family members who think that being open about your emotions makes them weak or less than human—whatever it is, I encourage you: don’t suppress yourself anymore! It may feel scary at first, but eventually opening up will make life feel lighter and more connected in ways that are hard to explain until they happen!
You’re the one who’s strong and stoic.
You’re the one who’s strong and stoic. You’re the one who always seems to be okay, even though you’re not. You are the rock for everyone else: your family members, your friends, even complete strangers. You are there for people in ways that others can’t be or won’t be—and often, you don’t realize just how much this is true until years later.
You keep going when everyone else has given up on themselves (and sometimes on life). You make it through difficult times without falling apart despite everything stacked against you (and there’s often a lot of that). And through it all—even when things get really hard—you manage not only to hold yourself together but also keep other people from falling apart too.
You want to be vulnerable, but you don’t know how.
So you’re the rock for everybody. You want to be vulnerable, but you don’t know how. You may not even want to let others see your vulnerability because it makes you feel weak, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Your strength can come from vulnerability—it just takes time and practice.
If you have a hard time being vulnerable with yourself and others, start with what seems like an easy place: your clothes. Maybe some jeans that make your butt look good or a shirt that shows off the muscles in your arms will help get rid of some of those pesky insecurities so they won’t keep holding back who you really are inside!
You used to not care whether anyone else felt safe, because you never did.
- You used to not care whether anyone else felt safe, because you never did.
- You may not have been able to care about others’ feelings because you were too busy caring about your own.
- You may have been taught that it’s not okay to show vulnerability or ask for help.
You’ve been on your own for too long.
You’ve been the rock for everyone else for a long time. You’re the one who has to be strong, stoic and okay. You’re the one who has to hold it all together—for yourself, for your family, for your friends and colleagues. You’ve been on your own for so long that you don’t even remember what it feels like not to be in control of everything around you.
But now it’s time to ask yourself some questions: Where did this strength come from? What are these core beliefs that make me think I need to be superman or superwoman all of the time? And what if I didn’t have them anymore?
When we realize that we might not be able to do it all on our own anymore—that we might actually need help—it can feel scary as hell sometimes. It’s easy enough just pretending everything is okay while sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves (or worse: acting like everything is okay). But letting go of our façade means opening ourselves up to vulnerability and connection with others—and that takes courage no matter how long we’ve kept up appearances!
You may have adopted an attitude of “I can do it myself.” That’s a crucial part of your success, but it can also stop you from reaching out to others when you need help.
You may have adopted an attitude of “I can do it myself.” That’s a crucial part of your success, but it can also stop you from reaching out to others when you need help.
So how do you keep yourself on track without losing sight of the bigger picture? Here are some tips:
- Practice asking for help. When things get overwhelming, ask for assistance from friends or family members who care about your health and happiness as much as you do. This is not a sign of weakness; rather, it’s an opportunity to show others what kind of person they’re getting involved with!
There are good reasons why you became the rock. But there are also ways to tear down your walls and let people in.
So you’re the rock for everybody. You are good at providing support, helping others and making people feel comfortable, safe and like they can talk to you.
But what happens when someone else comes along who is also good at that? They start to do it better than you and then suddenly it’s not only about being a rock anymore—it’s also about being a wall between everyone else who wants stability and safety from some kind of threat in their lives. And maybe this isn’t something that makes sense for you as an identity anymore; after all, if we’re all rocks together then nobody should be left out or left behind right?
It’s okay if you need support sometimes.
It’s okay to admit that you’re struggling. You are not alone and it doesn’t make you weak, or a failure, or a bad person. You’ve been through so much and you deserve support sometimes too. We all need help sometimes.
If someone has been through the same thing as you (or is going through it now), they can understand how hard it is for them too. It’s good to talk about your feelings with people who care about you, because sharing them will make them feel lighter even if they don’t go away completely—and hopefully by talking about what’s bothering us we can help others feel like they’re not alone either!